I don’t know when I will see my mom again. I can’t do anything to see her sooner rather than later.
The uncertainty is wrenching.
Mom is in a nursing home over 500 miles away from where I live. When I last visited during spring break in March, we had three wonderful days together. The morning of what I anticipated to be my fourth and final day with Mom, the nursing home administrator informed me that all visitors were banned. Effective immediately. I could not disguise my disappointment at not being able to say goodbye to Mom in person.
Simultaneously, I also appreciated the heightened efforts to protect one of COVID-19’s most vulnerable populations. During the first part of the summer, I optimistically thought I may be able to visit her, but that hope was quickly dashed by the emergence of positive diagnoses.
And so I wait.
Just thinking about Mom without visitors in a nursing home makes me want to wail. She increasingly has trouble hearing me on the phone or on video, cruelly reminding me that no substitute exists for face-to-face interaction. My utter lack of control can keep me tossing and turning at night.
Why, God, why? When, God, when?
Amid my tearful pleas, the words of Isaiah 46: 3-4 (NIV) ring out clear and true:
Listen to me…you whom I have upheld since your birth,
and have carried since you were born.
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
The God who upholds the entire universe by the word of His power (Hebrews 11:3) is carrying, sustaining, and rescuing Mom. And you. And me. From conception to old age and gray hairs (I have plenty!). And every moment between the beginning and the end of life. Because God is the Beginning and the End. The First and the Last. The Alpha and the Omega (Revelation 1:8). The Author and the Finisher (Hebrews 12: 2).
Who can even begin to match such a track record? Isaiah 46: 5 (NIV) challenges, “With whom will you compare me or count me equal? To whom will you liken me that we may be compared?”
As I humbly answer “no one,” I surrender Mom to Him who has been “a very present help” (Psalm 46:1 NKJV) throughout her entire lifetime and will continue to be “even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20 NKJV).
And it is well with my soul.
Therefore, in your own time of doubts or distress, may you find yourself sustained, carried and rescued by Him. Read more about my story here.